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10 Of The Best Lorem Ipsums

Posted in Funnies, Posted in Tools by Josh Baldwin on 29-Sep-2014 14:35:03

First of all, you're probably scratching your noodle asking yourself WTF is an ipsum? Well to brief, Lorem Ipsum is THE standard filler text that has been used in design and publishing since the 1500s.

Here’s what it looks like:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Believe it or not the actual words themselves are taken from an old 1st century Latin text written by Cicero that’s then been scrambled about a bit. Basically it’s a load of fancy looking bollocks…

We have to use Lorem Ipsum pretty regularly here at NLM for stuff like presentations or website mockups and frankly the standard Lorem Ipsum is boooooooooooring. That’s why I've compiled a wee list of my favourite alternative ipsum generators! (Please, try to contain your excitement...)

1. Bacon Ipsum

Bacon Ipsum

My personal favourite, bacon ipsum coats your bland boring ipsum in maple smoked, streaky bacon goodness. Just make sure when you send off you're document that the client isn’t Morrissey/an equally massive vegan (there is a vegan ipsum, but bacon ipsum is far superior!)

Bacon ipsum dolor sit amet tail tri-tip t-bone pork belly strip steak ham meatball brisket jowl fatback pork chop bresaola ribeye short loin turkey. Pork loin strip steak meatball leberkas prosciutto. Jowl beef ribs ham corned beef capicola. Capicola tail t-bone sirloin, frankfurter pork loin jowl prosciutto corned beef kielbasa.

2. Corporate Ipsum

Corporate Ipsum

We're no stranger to business cockery in the NLM office, often we'll get together and stir fry ideas in the strategy wok while simultaneously synergising values with our cross departmental tiger teams. Just kidding… we don't do any of that and we never will. However, that won't stop us from using this hilarious ipsum full of irksome business speak!

Collaboratively administrate empowered markets via plug-and-play networks. Dynamically procrastinate B2C users after installed base benefits. Dramatically visualize customer directed convergence without revolutionary ROI.

3. Samuel L. Ipsum

Samuel L Ipsum

This glorious ipsum generator takes every foul mouthed speech from Samuel L. Jacksons back catalogue of films and crafts beautiful MoFo filled filler text for your personal enjoyment. You can select awesome excerpts from Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown and even M. Night Shambylambylam's Unbreakable (which is surprisingly good). Be warned, it’s impossible to not read these ipsums in Sam J’s silky voice…

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee.

4. Hodor

Hodor Ipsum

This next ipsum is brought to you by everyone’s favourite GoT’s character, the wonderfully verbose and devilishly loquacious Hodor! If you haven’t watched GoT or read the books here’s why that last sentence is hilarious…

Hodor, hodor hodor, hodor. Hodor hodor; hodor HODOR hodor, hodor hodor, hodor, hodor hodor. Hodor. Hodor hodor, hodor. Hodor hodor... Hodor hodor hodor? Hodor! Hodor hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor hodor? Hodor, hodor. Hodor. Hodor, hodor hodor; hodor hodor hodor hodor, hodor, hodor hodor. Hodor hodor - HODOR hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor, hodor, hodor hodor. Hodor. Hodor hodor... Hodor hodor hodor - hodor hodor hodor, hodor, hodor hodor. Hodor hodor; hodor hodor, hodor. Hodor hodor hodor!

5. T’Lipsum (Yorkshire Ipsum)

Yorkshire Pudding Ipsum

Ey up chuck, why not inject your old naff lorem ipsum with a bit of northern soul. Give T’Lipsum a go and give your filler text a delightful Yorkshire twang.

Soft southern pansy nobbut a lad ah'll gi' thee a thick ear nobbut a lad. Ne'ermind ee by gum bobbar any rooad breadcake. Appens as maybe wacken thi sen up is that thine that's champion. Ah'll learn thi gerritetten shu' thi gob. Ne'ermind cack-handed nobbut a lad by 'eck.

6. Cat Ipsum

Cat Ipsum

Cats undisputedly run the internet, the web’s practically fuelled by the derpy buggers. Now you can “litter your copy with more kitty” if you so wish, with blocks of text that help highlight the fact that all cats are in fact evil (proof > mycatisadick.com)

Chase dog then run away eat grass, throw it back up for chew iPad power cord i like big cats and i cannot lie swat at dog missing until dinner time who's the baby. Sun bathe. Play time peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth present belly, scratch hand when stroked leave hair everywhere, stick butt in face, but purr for no reason.

7. Sagan Ipsum

Carl Sagan Ipsum

Sagan ipsum wonderfully cobbles together quotes and anecdotes from the late great astronomer and astrophysicist Carl Sagan. These often profound cosmological titbits and snippets are bound to spruce up your boring old filler text. Yay science!

The only home we've ever known. Kindling the energy hidden in matter, rich in mystery a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena are creatures of the cosmos, made in the interiors of collapsing stars two ghostly white figures in coveralls and helmets are soflty dancing aboard the ship of the imagination, stirred by starlight, ship of the imagination shores of the cosmic ocean galaxies inconspicuous motes of rock and gas cosmic fugue.

8. Hipster Ipsum

Hipster Ipsum

If you appreciate the rampant hipster douche-baggery that has slowly and apathetically taken Shoreditch by storm, then you’ll probably enjoy this ‘post-ironic, gluten free, indie brew, artisanal’ hipster ipsum generator.

Pour-over pickled moustache, craft beer sustainable Camden plaid lo-fi letterpress bicycle rights Brooklyn ennui wayfarers. Farm-to-table stumptown gluten-free Pinterest, authentic slow-carb PBR pour-over dreamcatcher bicycle rights Shoreditch. Brunch vinyl swag, sustainable 8-bit High Life shabby chic.

9. Cheese Ipsum

Cheese Ipsum

Friends of fromage will enjoy this cheesy ipsum generator. Crack out the quince and crackers and bung this cheesy filler wherever & whenever you ever need a tasty text placeholder!

I love cheese, especially parmesan brie blue castello pepper jack fromage stinking bishop fromage frais dolcelatte smelly cheese. Cheese on toast squirty cheese, cheese and wine cheesy feet mascarpone danish fontina feta.

10. Swearem Ipsum

Swearem Ipsum

This next ipsum generator we wouldn't recommend using unless the client happens to be Jon or has an extremely good sense of humour.

There’s another version which sticks some of the original Latin back in the text, and a PG version with only semi rude words, out of taste and decency I chose the PG version (also Jon told me it wasn't appropriate to include the word 'Thunder@*$#' on the NLM blog) If you'd like to read the 'weapons grade' Swearem Ipsum click here, but be warned it's fairly (very) NSFW!

Fudge melonfarmer balony clown fudge fudge melonfarmer balony. Balony mothercrusher freaking bloodsucker melonfarmer bloodsucker. Fudge shoot bloodsucker funster freaking shoot bloodsucker. Fudge freaking clown melonfarmer mothercrusher shoot freaking funster. Freaking balony balony fudge monkeyfighting airhead.

Got a favourite Ipsum that we might've missed? Tweet us a link and we'll add it to the list!

Tags: Funnies, Tools

Josh Baldwin

Josh Baldwin

Local & Mobile Specialist at Noisy Little Monkey, Josh blogs about useful tools and best practice.