I Quit by Mr Dog

Posted in Funnies by Mr Dog

This post is tough for me to write (and not just because I'm half Hungarian and lack the opposable thumbs required to use the keyboard efficiently). It's tough because, in all but job title, I'm a co-founder of Noisy Little Monkey and from today I'm taking a back seat. It's not my choice. My paw has been forced.

Mr Dog

I'm Generation Y and have been working in the digital marketing space dog and pup. In my early days I expressed my lack of faith in a client's digital strategy by urinating on their shoes and right up until this morning, I was moving boring meetings along by silently dropping eye watering, nauseating farts. You'd think the brevity of dog farts would be a welcome breath of fresh air in an industry so full of bull shit, but no. Even though I'm the second longest serving employee here, I've been asked to take early retirement.

A confidentiality agreement means I can't talk about the real reasons for my going, but I shall work a couple of days a week in our Shepton Mallet office for the foreseeable future while I consider my options. My experience (35 dog years, which makes me way older than Google) will be an asset to any business in the digital space, so if you hear of any openings for someone with my skill set, get in touch.

And even though I'm going, Jon is allowed to stay on... Apparently no one is brave enough to call him out when he farts in meetings or welcomes a client by enthusiastically sniffing their crotch.

In the meantime, let me take this opportunity to say goodbye to the Bristol Noisy Little Monkey team - It's been a profound honour to help you in your personal development guys.

It's also been a privilege to excitedly sniff the privates of my friends from the Aardman Operations team, Smith Maloney, Somerset Design, SecondSync and the Slapstick Festival every day for the past couple of years... I'll miss your genitals more than I can say.

If you need me, I'll be in the Shepton Mallet office Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Otherwise I'll take a few Pilates classes, buy a pashmina and maybe start a little PR business.

Mr Dog Logging Off Sod off ya bearded hippy! I'm trying to remember my password.

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