Life at Noisy Little Monkey is a daily nightmare. We live under the maniacal rule of a Trump-like tyrant, constantly at the whim of his increasingly ridiculous schemes. Rumours abound of traitors in our midst; nobody trusts anybody; you can never be sure which desk will be empty on any given day. Mr Dog gives the impression of a docile four-legged friend, but is in fact a deadly killer, trained to rip people apart with a whistle. It’s a hell the likes of which I could never have imagined. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
We all remember a great come back. Bowie’s triumphant return to Glastonbury in 2000; Prince’s reinvention as The Artist Formerly Known As in 1991; Kim K’s return to the spotlight earlier this year following traumatic events in Paris. But none, none can compare to this: the most eagerly-anticipated event in written history. It’s here. It’s happened: Mr Dog is back.
Ahhh, office Christmas parties. That special time of year when you're forced to spend your precious free time with a bunch of people you probably don't like, photocopying inappropriate body parts and desperately flirting with your boss in the hopes of a pay rise. Refreshingly, the Noisy Little Monkey office party conformed to none of the above.
Another year is ending. Another slang dictionary begins. The classic 'WTF' has once again been brought to the forefront of youth speak in 2016 due to even more questionable abreevs and acronyms that have been surfacing our screens in the past 12 months. I mean, what even is 'woke'?!
It all began a hazy six-ish years ago on the side of picturesque country road in Somerset, when my mum met Jon, her neighbour. At that time, Noisy Little Monkey was a mere embryo of the spotty teenager you see today and Jon was in a panic. He was selling like crazy but delivering like… well less crazy shall we say and he needed some help. Nic hadn’t quite given up her successful, well paid, fulfilling career in Bristol to join the team (apart from making sure clients were actually billed) so my mum kindly volunteered me for the role of “helper”. She’s good like that.
Hey! I’m Natalie. I’m 21 years young and I’m still down with the kids. Although the fact that I just used the phrase ‘down with the kids’ shows that I’m actually, in fact, not. But as the youngest monkey there are many topics of discussion that often leave me feeling like a n00b. For example,
Hi there pop pickers. I’m Jo and I do stand up comedy when I’m not doing social media for Noisy Little Monkey. I’ve overcome a heck of lot of stage fright, heckling and dead back-rooms of dodgy old men in pubs over the past few years. And I’ve learned my lessons. Oh boy.