WordPress Spam

Posted in Funnies by Nicola Payne

SpamOne of the most amusing aspects of having a blog on your website is comment spam. You know all those comments about how awesome your post is and how there aren't enough writers out there who write with your heart and passion . . .

We do occasionally get really useful comments and will happily publish comments and link back to people who have something genuinely useful to say - like Richard at the Cookie Collective.

However, most comments we get are complete nonsense. We were particularly delighted with this piece of constructive criticism:

Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple WordPress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at. "WordPress Seo Plugin"

:) Love it.

If you get this comment on your blog please ignore it - this is not good SEO advice, it is spam. If you want good SEO in your WordPress blog use Yoast.

Even more important, please please, don't approve spam comments. We have a client who was approving comments on her phone and didn't realise that they were full of nasty links to other websites. Spam comments are funny but they may also harm your online health. Warning over.

Nicola Payne
Nicola Payne

Managing Director at Noisy Little Monkey, Nicola posts about Google Analytics and managing marketing teams.

Meet Nicola Payne

Monkey Mail 💌🍌

Get monthly digital marketing tips sent straight to your inbox.

Want to know what to expect before you subscribe? You can preview the monthly newsletter right here.

Don't worry - we won't EVER share your email with anyone. Even if they offer us a million quid. It says so in our privacy policy.
If you would like to offer us a million quid, email at once.